On optimism and pessimism

The word is opposite of each other. As a Pieces girl, I wonder my star sign. My thoughts always have two contrary opinions conflicting. For example, I choose my specialty as my lifelong career. I select English language, but then I feel worried without learning well as my pro. I'm not confident. Usually I asked myself if my road is right. It's called pessimism in my situation. I hope I can improve my language as a profession within a short time. That seems to be more arrogant. Probably owning a lot of money could make me to be more confident and become an optimistic person. No wonder most people in this era are not happy.